During the time that I've been with my husband, I have "learned" many things.
- You can't cut a watermelon 10 minutes or more before eating it. You must cut it RIGHT BEFORE you eat it. The watermelon has to be cut into large pieces. Any other way makes the watermelon taste nasty and your Brazilian husband will refuse to eat it.
- Avocados make you fat.
- Americans are pigs because we don't always shower at night. You know, some of us prefer a daily morning shower, not a night shower. This makes Americans pigs because you sweat when you sleep and bacteria will infect you.
- The cat is absolutely not allowed anywhere near the bedroom. If your Brazilian husband sees a little bit of fuzz on his shirt it will automatically be blamed on the cat.
- Cleaning means shoving everything where nobody can see it.
- No matter how busy you have been the car has to be squeaky clean before picking up a Brazilian friend. If it's not clean, the Brazilian friend will apparently think you're a lazy pig.
- Drinking old milk in your coffee is not a problem.
- 25 degrees is not 25 degrees. It is -15 degrees, and gosh darn it! Without an Arctic extreme conditions sport boot he will freeze to death!
- Nobody has been through what your Brazilian husband has been through. Nobody has as much experience as him....not even your 80-year-old grandpa.
- Everything Brazilian is better. Everything American is crap. That includes the food, music, clothes, cologne, and probably toilet paper.
Hey I just found your blog!
ReplyDeleteAw, if you guys are living there, that's probably why he is resentful to American things. It's hard to be away from home... I have the same feelings towards Brazilian thing (Canada is better) ... Well, actually those feelings are kind of dying now that I've been here for while.
Haha, funny stuff though ;)
The shower comment is what my fiance and I disagree on! He gives me a hard time that I don't like taking showers at night!
ReplyDeleteHey! thanks for your comment on my blog. I was actually already following your blog as I realised we have stuff in common, but I hadn't actually got around to reading much of it yet.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, this post of yours really made me laugh too! My husband is exactly the same about showers, so it must be a Brazilian thing! I mean, don't get me wrong, I take plenty of showers, but he is so funny about it if ever I am too tired before bed and plan to have one in the morning! He, of course, has both.
And the thing about the cat - mine is the same about our dog. I don't actually have any idea how I ever managed to persuade him we should get one.
However, I'm ashamed to say that I may be the one who is guilty of number 10, because I miss all the little things about home so much and can't help but compare them with things here in Brazil!
Have you already been to Brazil? Or do you have any plans to live here in the future?
That's hilarious! They seem to hate the idea of having animals inside the house! My husband is starting to like my cat. Recently I've had some serious problems with my cat because he's getting old. I threatened to find him a good home the other day. My husband said, "please don't give Tigger away..I really like having him around." HA!
ReplyDeleteI haven't been to Brazil but we are planning to go this year! His work visa didn't allow him to travel back and forth so that's why we still haven't made it there. Poor guy, he hasn't seen his family since July of 2009!
And yes, we plan on moving there after everything settles down. I'm excited but I know it won't be for awhile.